I've done all the dumb things

Update, before anyone panics. Things with the jaw situation seem to be stable for now, so we're just playing the waiting game and doing some more tests in January. No, we don't know what it is yet. Yes, I may still end up looking like a pirate. No, I'm not getting a parrot.

So there you go.
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In other news, last night at the gym I asked a young fellow with the most ridiculous handlbar moustache I've ever seen how much money he managed to raise last month.

He just looked baffled, and I realised to my horror that his upper-lip monstrosity had nothing to do with Movember at all, but rather was a deliberate and self-chosen fashion statement.

I believe this is the equivalent for males of asking a merely chubby woman when she is due and what colour they've done the spare room in.

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Outside the shopping centre at Cooleman Court the other day, an old bent gentleman was delicately (and badly) playing a piano accordian.

I dropped a few miscellaneous coins into his tweed hat as I walked past, and was pleased to see the young Italian gentleman from the grocery store follow behind me and deposit a large note. I thought it was lovely that he was rewarding his local elderly citizens for their contributions to his entertainment throughout the day.

This sentiment was of course ruined when he lent down and loudly exclaimed "Mate, tell ya what - oi'll give ya twenny dollahs if ya'll SHUT DA FUCK UP AWLREADY!"

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I have a cocktail party at the Hyatt on Friday evening. I even have a short slinky little black dress (from my second year at ADFA, ye gods! I can't believe I fit in this stuff again!) to show off my recent body efforts in.

I also have severe frictions burns all over my knees.

It is a result of taking a dive on polished wood flooring at badminton on Monday night, but to hear people snicker at it at work, I'm either a 10yr old who has come off a skateboard or someone who has a MUCH more interesting social life than the actual reality.

So for Friday? Well, I was going for a 'slimmed-down sophisticate" look, but I guess I'll just have to stick with the 'engages in fellatio marathons whilst kneeling on cheap cane matting' effect instead.